Kind Words From Others

Working with people at such a tender time of life, I won’t ask them for “testimonials,” but do love sharing the kind words they spontaneously feel drawn to tell me about the work we’re doing together.

And, because it is such a tender time, I have chosen to not identify them with more than initials, and a statement about the work we were doing when they shared the kind words (as needed).

Thank you, Anastacia. You took what was foreign and terrifying and made it known. As I experienced her time in hospice and her death, there was more calm for me than ever knew I could have. My grief-counselor tells me that I did a lot of pre-grieving during that time, and thinks I was able to do it because I understood what was happening to my wife. You’re an angel on this earth. God Bless you.


(A.T and I worked together to help her understand the hospice and dying process when her wife received a terminal diagnosis)

I admit I felt old, both being menopausal and not knowing anything about medical cannabis (when the younger me knew so much about pot!). Thank you for helping me catch up, and for helping me evaluate whether medical cannabis was something I wanted to bring into my life. Thank you, too, for the referral to a doc who cares about cannabis, and isn’t just a company looking to make a buck by certifying people they have no relationship with.  I haven’t made the call to him, yet, but now I know where to go if/when I’m ready. That’s progress!


(K.C. and I worked together to help her understand the possible uses of medical cannabis to provide relief from menopausal symptoms, as well as to help her understand the cannabis system in Maryland)

Anastacia, you are my angel, and my new BFF. Dying isn’t what I want to do, and yet it’s now feeling a bit easier because of how you helped me share my own story in my obit, and share things with my family that I’ve said, but that they’ll now be able to remember forever because I’ve written them down. I’m grateful.


(R.H. and I worked together at the end of her life to help her write her own obituary, and letters to her family)

Because I didn’t know any better, I was about to plunk down $6500 to have an attorney create my end of life documents and commemorate my plans in legal form. Then, a friend told me about you, Anastacia, and you walked me through what I could do on my own (which turned out to be most of what was needed!), and let me know what I needed the estate attorney for (just my will).  It felt so good to be able to say what I wanted in my own language, and when I gave the documents to my son, I could tell they were easy for him to understand. That was worth even more than the money I saved. Thank you so much for your kindness, compassion, and for having such awesome resources that you shared so freely with me!


(I helped P.G. with her end of life wishes)

What would I do without you? You listen so patiently and closely, and you ask sweet questions. I always feel lifted up by your visits, and texting with you at moments when I felt scared or lonely has helped me through some really rough patches in this journey of mine. Thank you, A.


(L.L. and I and I worked together at the very end of her life; she said she engaged me to be someone she could talk about the "hard stuff" with who wasn't related to her or too close to her or her family)

When my twin sister called from the other side of the US to say that she had stage 4 cancer that had metastasized to other major organs, I called you to see how I could best support her as she sought treatment.

In our conversation, I mentioned planning a visit to see her in a month once she’d gotten a treatment plan and I could help her. The single best thing you did for me was quietly and gently tell me to go right away.

You never said that you thought she wouldn’t be alive in a month, but something about your gentleness in that moment got through to me—waiting wasn’t a good plan.

I flew to her four days later, and she died a week after that, lying in my arms. I don’t have a way to thank you for what you did for me…for us. God bless you.


When I got the diagnosis of stage 4 cancer, I knew I didn’t want to spend much of my time doing the harsh treatment the doctors suggested could keep me alive “a little” longer. Instead, I planned three things: the cruise around the world I’d always wanted to take, a quick move to another location near my family where Medical Aid in Dying is legal, and a conversation with you.

Among the greatest things we discussed, and certainly something that gave me peace was the talk about having a ride-or-die person in my life who would stand up for me no matter what, and that if I got to where I could no longer make use of MAID, I could still legally choose VSED (voluntary stopping eating and drinking). 

In a time of my life where so little felt like it was in my own control, you helped me see that everything was in my own control. Thank you, Anastacia!


You got me from my kids saying, “Oh, Dad…you’re going to live forever,” to the deep conversation we needed to have in light of my age and declining health. I don’t know how you actually made it happen, but you cleared a path, and we’re so much better off for it. I hope I have 20 more years, but no matter how much time I have, the kids now know what I want.


(T.M. and I worked together to create his medical directive, after I supported his adult children in listening to his end-of-life wishes—a conversation none of them wanted to have with him)

I was so worried that she wouldn’t be at peace with my decision that telling her kept getting pushed off. You created a calm environment for us to have the conversation and helped her hear me. That was priceless. But then, helping me create the photo album to give to her…wow. I didn’t think I’d get to it, and you made sure it happened. I’m comfortable with the future now. 


(J.W. and I worked together to help him easily communicate to his wife how much life-sustaining treatment he wanted as his illness progressed, and to capture his legacy of family photographs in an album he was able to present to her before he died)

I had no idea what to look for, or who to trust with regard to this topic. You knew, and shared with me exactly what I needed to help me make a decision about whole-body donation for myself. Thank you for making it easy for us!


(J.P. and I worked together to gather some resources for her to consider about her own full-body donation)

I had no idea there were such good resources available for the things I wanted to do, but you did, Anastacia, and you helped me walk myself through doing them (which I probably would have procrastinated on if you hadn’t been in my life). I knew there’s more I’ll want to do with you, but for now, I’m just so grateful to know that you exist in this world.


(M.A. and I did some legacy work and I helped her complete her Five Wishes document, and complete a Trust Card to help her talk with her doctor better after she received a difficult, acute diagnosis at mid-life)

I get lost in my options, and you made me a chart, based on the things I told you were most important to me. You made it easy for me to choose, and that was a huge gift. Thank you, a million times over.


(P.J. and I talked through her thoughts about disposition. She wasn't clear if she wanted a traditional funeral, or wanted to be directly cremated. She also wasn't sure, but she thought she wanted a home funeral, and we explored that together)

When my brothers told me they thought I should do Mom’s eulogy, I thought we’d sit down together and figure out what it should say, but they didn’t want any part in it.

Left alone to do it, I was well stuck in figuring out what was important to share and what wasn’t, especially at a Zoom funeral. Although Anastacia’s site didn’t list “help you write a eulogy” as something she offered, I’d known her for a lot of years, she’d met my mom a couple of times, and I decided to see if she could help me. I’m so glad I did.

She helped me cut through all the junk I thought I needed to say and get to what I most wanted to say about my mom. She helped me have a conversation with my brothers where I was able to get them to tell me their best memories of mom so that I could include those. And, she offered some tips for being on Zoom, which I’d only ever experienced once before and my brothers had never done. I’m pretty sure the three of us will never forget Anastacia and what she did for us. And I know my mom was smiling down at me as I shared from the heart about her.